June 15th, 2009 | 
Author: 
I knew I was becoming successful when more and more people started to hate me for no reason. It’s a wonderful feeling knowing that you’re finally getting somewhere.
As much fun as that is, it’s not as good as people gushing over me. Here’s an email I received from Jeff Copeland.
Jeff Copeland
Alright Zachary,
Here’s a quote while it’s fresh, I can’t sleep, too excited and going over notes from the phone call:
Zach Waldman is an amazing fountain of knowledge. Overflowing, exhaustive knowledge that will flood your noggin with the tools to get booked and be successful. I threw Zach a few bucks for his Restaurant Magician’s course and I was granted more than my money’s worth. The best part about it is how it pays for itself. The first night you work a restaurant, the course is more than paid in full. I didn’t even have to work a night at a restaurant to pay for the course because Zach sets you up with the tools to get a higher fee with whatever shows you may already be performing, even if it’s a birthday party show for Aunt Sally’s co-worker’s nephew. With this course, money will appear in your pocket. Cards will flow from your finger tips. And Celine Dion will sing your name with angelic hosts across beautiful canyons and distant hills.*
On top of an amazing video course, Zach grants a one hour coaching phone call where he personally walks you through any problems you may have and encourages your endeavor. That call literally drained the battery on my BlackBerry as Zach helped me to do better marketing for my show.
Thanks Zach, for being an awesome friend and coach,
Jeff
www.JeffCoParty.com
*All results may vary based upon dedication, practice, and Mrs. Dion’s personal schedule.
How To Book More Restaurant Work Than You Can Handle
For four years I taught an enrichment program at elementary schools called MatheMagic. I know what you’re thinking, “Wow, math AND magic, that’s a recipe for pussy.” Let me just say, teachers are freaks and I’ll leave it at that.
Basically, I taught kids K-6 how to do magic tricks based on math instead of sleight of hand. As a result of these classes, I booked a lot of children’s magic shows.
Over time, I got too busy to continue teaching the classes. My main business has always been high end private parties. I book most of these events by performing public magic shows in Los Angeles at places with great clientele.
Frankly, I was also a little fried on doing these gigs. I’ve been performing paid magic shows for kids since I was about 14. I love the little germ ridden bastards, but I’d had enough.
With rare exception, I now pass all kids’ shows off to magician friends I know will do a great job. This is a story about one of those exceptions.
I really like the family that hired me for this show. I’ve done both adult parties for them as well as birthday parties for their little one. This was my third time doing their kid’s party.
When I arrive, I find out I’m performing outside. Here’s a tip for anybody hiring a comedian or a magician. Outside sucks! The acoustics suck, audience management sucks, cards blow around, props get dirty, and if I didn’t mention it, the whole thing sucks. Many of my magic shows in Los Angeles have been outside but I rarely take these gigs, no matter the price. That’s how much I hate performing outside.
Next, I see all of the kids are in the pool. Once they see me, they of course scream and come running my way. I threaten to kick them if they come near me and that holds them at bay.
When I go to where I’m supposed to perform, the chairs are set up in a perfect ‘L’ shape. Why not just have me perform in the round? Here’s another tip if you’re hiring a comedian or a magician. We hate people behind us or on the extreme sides.
As a comedian I want an audience close together and all in front of me so I can easily connect with everybody. Obviously, magic is harder to see if some people are in front of you and others are to the side. For instance, if I make a playing card visibly change from one to another only half the audience will see the effect.
I tell the soggy children to dry off while I set up for the show. They take this to mean they should jump back in the pool. I try to stop them, to no avail.
There are about four or five parents just staring at me. They make no effort to help. Frankly, they look beaten down. Their faces are shell shocked and zombified. I realize I’m officially the babysitter.
All of the kids at the party, with the exception of one or two, are ten year old girls. Trying to get them to do anything is like herding cats. Only, cats don’t scream in each other’s ears for no apparent reason.
I know a lot of these kids because they were in my class at one time or another. Also, I’ve been doing magic shows in Los Angeles a long time and you’d be surprised at what a big, yet small city it is. Funny enough, one parent asks why I don’t teach MatheMagic anymore, as shrill, wet children run around us, nearly knocking over a table. After he asks, he kind of nods before I answer like, “Never mind, I understand.”
Once the show is set up, I get the chairs arranged in two rows in front of me, and I’m ready to start. I want to perform new material because these kids have seen me so many times before.
My first effect goes great. The response is huge, it’s new, and I’m on my way to doing a great show.
I hate to say that any magic trick is easy to do. Even the easiest effect requires a great presentation, showmanship, and a lot of other things that take years to learn.
With that said, the effect I’m about to perform is the easiest trick in the world. I’ve been performing it for about nine months and I love it. It’s a torn and restored newspaper trick, except the paper is already torn up.
The magician that teaches the effect is named Mark Mason. He carefully explains the workings and points out that if you do this one thing wrong, the trick won’t work.
Seriously, I couldn’t believe he bothered to explain that one thing. It’s very obvious and you’d have to be an idiot to mess this effect up.
Normally, I would reach into my case and pull out pieces of torn up newspaper one by one. I make up news stories about the birthday girl and other ridiculous stuff. Each piece of paper gets me a bunch of laughs.
On this occasion, I pull out one of the pieces of newspaper and all of the girls start screaming. I turn it over to see what’s on the paper and it’s nothing weird. It’s a woman in a bathing suit. It’s a real newspaper so she isn’t naked or anything. She didn’t look like this:
However, now that I’ve turned the piece of paper over to see what they were screaming about, they start screaming even louder. So, of course, I turn it back over to see what’s on that side. It turns out to be a guy in a bathing suit.
Without giving away the secret of the trick, it just so happens that this bathing suit piece of paper has to be in a particular place for everything to work. I’m in this crazy cycle of turning the pieces of newspaper back and forth with the girls screaming at different levels each time I turn it over.
I’ve got to be honest, I was thrown. It’s been a long time, and I don’t know what did it. Maybe it was the shrill course of screaming, or perhaps the lack of parental supervision, but I got flustered.
In my haste, I actually do the one thing that messes up the trick. That’s right; the one thing I didn’t think was even worth explaining. The one thing I said was so obvious only an idiot would mess it up.
Normally, I take all of the little pieces of newspaper and in one swift movement the newspaper is restored.
Now, I gather the little pieces together and the newspaper sort of restores and the audience starts to clap. Then, everything suddenly turns into confetti and there’s this kind of, “Awwww” sound. It’s like they started to see a miracle and instead got garbage.
I make some jokes about the trick and how I really don’t know what I’m doing. Who knows what I’m saying but they’re laughing. I make the person recording me promise not to put it up on YouTube and move on.
The rest of the show goes great and the kids take off to smash a pinata.
It was an awesome event. After I was done, the party moved to the front yard and this guy had these beautiful sheep herding dogs doing amazing stuff.
For instance, he hid a bunch of objects around the yard and then he would hold up a sign with a letter on it. If the letter was M, the dog would find the toy monkey that was hidden.
The most amazing thing was how well the dogs listened. To be honest, as I watched this man’s incredible show and the kids ran around like lunatics, I thought, “Wow, those dogs behave better than the children.”
Seth MacFarlane and Zach Waldman
Thursday May 21, 2009 will go down as one of my best nights ever at Crustacean Restaurant in Beverly Hills, CA. Not only am I going to share everything that happened, I’m also going to throw a few lessons in along the way. There’s a little something in this post for everybody, from my magician friends to the degenerates I hang out at the beach with.
You may be unaware of this, but some of the best magicians in the world perform during the week at restaurants and bars. Basically, these venues serve as steady income for us and also provide leads for private parties and corporate events. Most people have never seen a professional magician performing top notch sleight of hand inches away from their eyes. When they experience this for the first time and realize they can have this amazing entertainment at their parties, we exchange cards. These encounters lead to long term relationships that go beyond business. I’m friends with many of my clients which means when it comes time to hire a magician they don’t even consider another performer.
The restaurant I’ve been performing at longest is Crustacean. I’ve been there over six years and I love the place. If you ever want incredible food served by an excellent staff, make reservations now. I perform every Thursday night from 7:30Pm – 9:30PM so be sure to have dinner when I’m working.
If you’re hiring a magician for the first time and you’re reading this for advice, here’s a tip for you. When you’re calling different magicians and having a hard time deciding whom to hire, ask the performers if they have a steady gig somewhere so you can see them work. With all things being equal, hire the one with the steady job, even if you don’t actually see him perform. The highest caliber magicians work all of the time. As a matter of fact, you can see my public performing schedule right here.
So, here’s my story about last Thursday at Crustacean.
Right after I arrived for work, the manager, John Nyguyen, informed me that I just missed Robby Krieger from The Doors. I was kind of bummed because it would have been cool to perform for one of the riders on the storm.
On the upside, I did see a table full of businessmen that looked miserable despite eating an incredible dinner and being in a beautiful place. There was one businesswoman at the table and she had a beautiful beard. I can’t tell you how happy I was at the prospect of working for them.
I asked the server whether or not I should perform for the table. He got the same pleasant vibe as me but in the end sent me into battle.
For the first 30 seconds, they looked like they were made of wax. Then, something amazing happened. They actually started to laugh and enjoy themselves. I felt like a miracle worker waking these people up from their corporate comas. Not only did they turn out to be awesome, the guy that seemed like the biggest tool tipped me a hundred dollar bill. Not a bad start to the night and a little reminder to not judge a woman by her facial hair.
Next, I spotted a table with two couples that seemed to be having a great time. Right off the bat, they rocked. Everything I did was a miracle and everything I said was hysterical. And no, they weren’t drunk.
However, I did learn that one of the gentlemen was one of the inventors of Grey Goose Vodka. Not only were they a great audience, they also tipped me a hundred dollar bill.
Immediately, a table requested me. It turned out they’d seen me before and they brought in some friends to check out my show. If you own a restaurant, keep in mind that this is one of the many benefits of hiring a magician. People will come back because you offer something unique.
Of course, they were a great group. There was a birthday at the table so I did some special magic for the guest of honor. After the set, my old friends tipped me $40.00. If you’re keeping score at home, the crab count for the three tables is $240.00. I’m obsessed with The Deadliest Catch so you may notice more crab references coming out of me for awhile. I know, you’re used to me talking about crabs, but this time I mean the kind they catch off of Alaska.
I thought I was done for the night. After all, I’d done a whole three shows and was ready for a nap. However, my good friend and server at Crustacean, Jarret, informed me that Seth MacFarlane just sat down. If you don’t know who he is, you either don’t have a TV, Internet access, or a sense of humor. Maybe you’re just not good with names and I shouldn’t be so hard on you. I’m sorry, keep reading.
Seth MacFarlane created the show Family Guy and he does a bunch of the voices. Apparently, he’s on a commercial for Hulu that airs constantly but I’ve somehow missed it. As a result, I didn’t know what he looked like. I did hear his Howard Stern interview which was really killer. If you missed it, subscribe to Sirius, it’s the best.
Jarret comes over to me and says he just served Mr. MacFarlane his crab. He said he put the bib on him and Seth said, “I feel really dignified. I feel like a fucking Viking!”
Depending on the restaurant, I work the tables at different times. For instance, at one of my gigs, I perform for the guests right after they order and while they’re waiting for their food. At Crustacean, I perform for the patrons after they’ve eaten and before they order desert.
It was showtime and I made my approach to perform for Seth friggin’ MacFriggin’FarFriggin’LaFriggin’Ne. He was with a hot betty and when I introduced myself as the house magician, I didn’t get the normal vacant stares. They both seemed genuinely interested.
I said, “What’s your name?”
The hottie said, “Alexis.”
I said, “Nice to meet you, and I know who you are man, you’re Seth MacFarlane.”
Immediately, these two were incredibly cool. Alexis was from Chicago which is where I lived for a couple of years. It’s still one of my favorite cities and the people I run into from there are always great. I miss the stuffed spinach pizza from Giordano’s.
We talked for a bit and then I did my first effect. Even if they were only pretending to be amused with me up to this point, they were now genuinely crushed by the magic.
I asked Seth to take out a hundred dollar bill and sign it. He said he didn’t want to get in trouble, so he signed it SEAN HANNITY. In case you don’t know, Sean Hannity is more right wing than Rush Limbaugh (who’s in fact right of Hitler). I set the bill on fire and he informed me that he planned to give it to me so it was my loss. Of course, I reproduced the unharmed bill from a sealed envelope in my wallet and handed it to him. He gave it back to me as a tip.
The bill Seth signed
I said, “Seth, thank you for the tip and I’m glad you didn’t sign your name on it. Had you done that, I wouldn’t have wanted to spend it. Now that you wrote SEAN HANNITY on it, I can’t wait to give it away.”
I said this right as he was drinking, and no joke, the dude almost spit all over me. In comedy, there’s nothing greater than getting people to expel liquids either through their noses or by spitting. Luckily, Jarret was watching the show so I had a witness. It was definitely one of my greatest comedic moments.
Of course, I ended my set with Sam the Bellhop and Seth MacFarlane said, “That is the greatest card trick I’ve ever seen in my life.” He then gave me another hundred dollar bill. Now, up to this point, the coolest celebrity I ever performed for was Dave Grohl. I mentioned this to Seth and told him he was now at the top of my list.
On their way out, Alexis and Seth took pictures with me. He joked that he wrote SEAN HANNITY just the way he imagined Hannity would do it. You know, in all caps, Arial font. I swear, we both said, “Arial font” at the same time. It was a true comedy romance between us.
Seth MacFarlane and Zach
Also, Seth said, “I was reading your business card and apparently I can hire you to walk around my party and blow people’s minds.”
I said, “Yeah, but dude, I want to be friends with you! I want to hang out by your pool and date your leftovers.”
He said, “Dude, you’re creeping me out.”
“Yes! I’m a creepy guy. I’m a stand-up comedian and a magician. I’m a mess, but let’s hang,” I said.
He nervously laughed and said, “Let me start by hiring you for this house warming party.”
Before leaving, I got to hug Alexis inappropriately. She was really cool and had a great sense of humor.
He shook my hand and whispered, “Fuck Dave Grohl, you tell everybody I was the coolest.”
Seth MacFarlane, Alexis, and Zach
So, who knows, maybe I’ll be at Seth MacFarlane’s house warming party, blowing his guest’s minds. I forgot to tell him that I performed for Mila Kunis years ago. She’s the voice of Meg on Family guy and of course, was on That 70′s Show. Maybe she’ll be at the party and I can try hitting on her again.
Even if he didn’t tell me to say it, I’d be telling you, Seth MacFarlane is by far the coolest celebrity I’ve ever performed for.
By the end of the night, my crab count included my dinner and fee from Crustacean plus $440.00 in tips from four tables. So, all of you magicians complaining about the economy, find a killer place to work with a great clientele. The best restaurants are still doing fine and there are plenty of people throwing parties in need of entertainment.
If you didn’t see the last Rocky movie, you really missed out. You may be questioning my cinematic taste at this moment, but really, it’s an awesome flick.
There’s a great moment where Rocky says, “The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place. It will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me or nobody is going to hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you hit, it is about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward, how much can you take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done!”
Hell yeah, Rocky! I feel like picking on somebody smaller than me right now. Think about it, if he gets back up after the beating, I’ll be helping him to build character. If he doesn’t… uh, oops. Nevermind.
Seriously, it really is about your ability to get back up after being knocked down. Here’s the thing; Most people are so scared of getting knocked down, they never get in the ring.
In my opinion, fear, not money, is the root of all evil. It’s fear that prevents people from evolving and it’s what keeps them ignorant.
Since fear and the many ways it destroys humanity is such an enormous topic, let me boil it down to something that matters to you, the wannabe restaurant and/or bar magician. If you’re scared to approach a restaurant to ask for a job and you let that anxiety prevent you from doing it, you’ll never become a professional entertainer.
In the beginning, everybody is nervous approaching bars or restaurants to ask for a gig. However, the pros are the ones that do it anyway. They don’t let fear get in the way. After they talk to the first manager, they realize it’s not that bad. The second restaurant is much easier to approach and after awhile they’ve gone to so many that they aren’t anxious at all.
One of my students happens to be a boxer. He told me a story where a guy acted like he was going to hit him. My student stood his ground without flinching at all. The reason he said he didn’t flinch was because he’s been hit so many times, it doesn’t scare him.
Most boys growing up know the fear of being in a fight and how that’s always worse than actually getting in a playground scuffle. Getting punched isn’t really that big of a deal.
If your boxing ring is to be restaurants and bars but your fear of rejection prevents you from making an approach, it’s the same as never getting in the ring at all. Don’t let this happen to you. Be nervous and take action anyway.
Another way people let fear get in the way of their progress is by thinking everybody is out to rip them off or take advantage of them in some way. One of the reasons I make a great living performing comedy-magic while other performers struggle is that I’m always educating myself and I’m not scared to pay for it.
For example, I’ve purchased several products from a marketing guru named Marlon Sanders. Specifically, I bought The Amazing Formula, Gimme My Money Now, and the Promo Dashboard. If you go to Marlon’s site for The Amazing Formula, you’ll see he offers a triple your money back guarantee.
Seriously, if you do what he tells you to do and you don’t make money, he’ll give you triple your money back.
Despite this, I know people that won’t buy his product. They are so scared of being ripped off, they won’t even take a look at the information.
My friends, if you buy something with your credit card or with PayPal, you’re protected from fraud. There really isn’t anything to be scared of. I market circles around the other magicians in Los Angeles because I keep learning. I’ve never once been ripped off on the Internet and I’ve spent tens of thousands of dollars on marketing material.
Every single thing I’ve bought (with the exception of this really bad manuscript on working tradeshows) has made me money. Each course has paid for itself many times over. By the way, even the one bad manuscript I bought was a lesson…in what not to do.
People’s fear of being ripped off hits close home for me because I’ve had people ask for refunds for products before they even got them. For example, I had somebody buy How To Book More Restaurant Work Than You Can Handle and the system didn’t generate the necessary PIN code immediately. He got the code a few minutes later but decided to ask for a refund.
When people do things like that, I know they only have one toe in the water. If the water is at all chilly, they run away, fearful that the glitch they encountered indicated they were being scammed.
Keep that in mind with your own sales process. If you sell anything on your web site, make sure everything works perfectly. No matter how much you test, once you go live, you’ll encounter something goofy that needs to be fixed. Take care of it right away, otherwise, you may be losing sales.
Here’s a big secret for you. The Amazing Formula was the first product I got from Marlon Sanders. He promised it would work for products or services. I applied everything he said to my comedy-magic business. While other magicians and so called marketing experts were critical of my tactics, I booked more and more shows and commanded higher fees.
We’ve been in this recession since the beginning of 2008 and that ended up being my best year ever! Even now, I’m continuing to book private parties at a steady pace.
It all comes down to this; Don’t let fear get in your way. Don’t let it stop you from approaching restaurants so you can finally become a professional restaurant magician. Also, don’t let your fear of being ripped off stop you from getting an advantage over your competition.
I promise if you do what I say in my course, How To Book More Restaurant Work Than You Can Handle, you will get gigs working restaurants. If you don’t, I’ll give you your money back. If you’re scared to take that bet, do me a favor: Put on a dress and get a day job, show business isn’t for you.
