Over the years, I've gotten to perform for a lot of celebrities. For about eight years, I was the house magician at a restaurant in Beverly Hills called Crustacean. It's still a great restaurant, but has changed quite a bit. There used to be an aquarium in the floor that served as a walkway from the lounge to the dining room. The Rick Whitfield Band used to perform in the lounge, and they were absolutely fantastic.
It seemed like someone famous dined at Crustacean every night. If you wanted to spot celebrities, it was a great place. It was awesome for me because I'd entertain them tableside and they'd often hire me for their private parties.
I perform a trick where I borrow a $100 bill and have the spectator sign it. Next, I make the bill disappear in a ball of fire and it teleports to a sealed envelope inside my wallet. Almost every celebrity let me keep the signed bill. The image of the bill above was not signed by Sean Hannity. It was actually signed by Seth MacFarlane, and you can read my story about that here.
Back then, a $100 seemed like a lot of money to me. Nowadays, it'll barely get you a tank of gas and a pizza. I was in my 20's and just getting established in Los Angeles. Meeting celebrities is always fun, but I don't often get starstruck and am not an autograph hound. I needed the money more than I cared about the signatures.
This is where the regret comes in. I spent every signed $100 bill I ever received.
I fantasize about going on Pawn Stars with a framed collection of my signed bills. I had more than 20 of them. A friend of mine asked what I thought they'd be worth and I jokingly said, "At least $2,000."
Some of the autographs included Gene Wilder, Vice President Al Gore, Smokey Robinson, Dave Grohl, Vivica A. Fox, Chris Tucker, and Vince Neil.
Luckily, I also got pictures with all of them, and that means more to me than the money. Still, it'd be really cool to have those bills framed and on my wall.
I did manage to find a picture of a $20 that Tara Reid signed. I don't remember the name of the bar I was performing at, but I'm pretty sure she came in with the cast of something she just filmed, and they were celebrating. I think it was Sharknado.
Twenty dollar bill signed by Tara Reid
When I performed for Sugar Ray Leonard at his 60th birthday party, he gave me a signed pair of boxing gloves, which I cherish. Also, Seth MacFarlane drew a picture of Stewie Griffin on a playing card and signed it for me, which is way cooler than a $100 bill, so not all is lost.
Seth MacFarlane signed playing card
Boxing gloves signed by Sugar Ray Leonard
Zach Waldman with Seth MacFarlane
Zach Waldman with Sugar Ray Leonard
So, there you have it. Yeah, I regret spending all of those bills, but I still have the memories, and that's what it's all about.
Also, if you ever come across a $100 bill with a signature on it, check to see if it belongs to someone famous!
I would love to be a part of your memories. If you have a private party or corporate event coming up, don't hesitate to reach out, and I'll put together a custom proposal just for you!